DEAR ABBY: I’ve one sister and three youthful half-sisters, all of whom I really like. Just lately, two of my nieces, the daughters of one among my half-sisters, gave delivery inside months of one another. Each determined to call their infants after their grandparents. One was named after my stepfather, which left me dismayed as a result of I don’t love or respect him. Actually, I hate him.
My stepfather was an alcoholic who molested my sister and was bodily abusive to me once we have been rising up. But he was loving and protecting of his personal daughters, my half-sisters. I don’t consider my nieces are conscious of this. My stepfather died earlier than my nieces have been born, so that they by no means knew him.
I really can’t bear to name the infant by his given identify. I saved this to myself, however my sister observed that I keep away from utilizing the infant’s identify and has confided in me the exact same emotions. If she observed, maybe my half-sisters have observed as properly.
I don’t need this to finish up inflicting a household rift, however after I hear anyone use the identify, I actually begin to shake. I assumed my stepfather was out of my life perpetually when he died. How ought to my sister and I take care of this? Can we make up our personal nickname? Presently we each discuss with the infant merely as “Child.” — NAME-HATER IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR NAME-HATER: Sure, you definitely can do this, and you might additionally inform your half-sisters and the nieces the rationale why. Past that, make an effort to maneuver previous this. Should you and your sister haven’t obtained counseling for the abuse you endured out of your late stepfather, it might assist.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
