DEAR ABBY: My husband and I’ve been collectively for 16 years and have what I think about to be a cheerful marriage.
My query issues ongoing conversations we’ve got been having about my hair coloration. The primary couple of years we have been collectively, my hair was grey, after which I dyed it purple. Whereas I do know he liked it, I did it for one cause: I wished to keep away from getting older myself unnecessarily within the office. My husband knew this.
Two years in the past, now retired, I made a decision to cease coloring my hair. Since then, he regularly mentions that he desires me to return to purple hair. I’ve advised him repeatedly that I’m unwilling to try this. He says he liked me a lot after I was a redhead (does that imply he loves me much less now?) and that my “going grey” has made HIM really feel outdated.
I’m dismayed and irritated by his persevering with marketing campaign to have me coloration my hair once more, and I’ve stated so. He even brings it up in entrance of our pals, which feels to me as if he’s making an attempt to collect exterior help for his argument. I LIKE my grey hair.
It saddens me that my husband finds me much less enticing or that my grey hair often is the cause he “feels outdated,” however I ponder why my hair coloration alternative bears that burden of duty. Isn’t it rightfully my alternative? I wouldn’t dream of directing him about tips on how to put on his hair. Your ideas? — SILVER GIRL IN NEW YORK
DEAR GIRL: This shouldn’t be an influence wrestle, which it seems it has become. Sure, your hair coloration is your alternative, and rightfully so. (Would carrying a purple wig when your husband is feeling amorous be a workable compromise?) If he “feels outdated” when he sees grey hair, maybe coloring his personal hair would make him really feel youthful.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
